a la terrassa del Nevermind
[m'encenc el piti]
pues es que me vuelve loquita but
& you know we met the other day & Barcelona
was dripping wet with a galletas maría light os lo juro
llum daurada in his eyes on his skin
out his mouth when he spoke to me ojos fixed en el cielo
for a second as if watching his whole vida held there birth to legacy
como si the sky was playing all his music y sí he will make it
lo sé in my bones & me wondering
how much of this wet light can i take before este cuerpecito mío
ay flows away & why are his lips shimmering so sorely with it
luz dorada & grapefruit juice always on them que sí
& really how much do i care
about poetry una mierda
sus ojitos though
two sonnets almendrados que me atrapan y no salgo
can't look into them for long honestly
at least without it being obvious que me encanta, joder
because my breath starts falling through & i speak
in pinkish fragments cut by su mirada my voice
entrecortada & my pupils probably huge no green left
& i bet que me ahogo into his swirling brown if i don't keep
looking away & really
i just wanna tell him everything & end up
having conversations with him in my mind smiling
easy wherever i am like that's not healthy no?
but what's healthy when everything feels so good
& the sky getting bigger & bluer i wanna keep feeling
his hard moonlight piercings on my body por la noche la mañana
his voice que sube que baja que me envuelve
keep being ridiculous talking crazy laughing like we're kids again
ay nenas [sip of clara, smile]
i am somewhere else with him or rather
i am as here as i can be like that mindfulness mierda
pues es que me vuelve loquita but [sigh]
pero he can't dance, ostia
no sabe bailar y eso ufff
is a problem.
[apago el piti]
mi trip a cambridge
i. morning
leave the hostel with a fiebreglow
cigarro hanging de mi'labio'—ah no.
leave the hostel with a fiebreglow
look up, sky blauíssim
like in my valley almost
look up, familia i think of you
soaked in sol every dia sí i wish
i grab a bit de azul lo presseo
my mind pa clarifear start
walking sí caminando
respirando swallowing
these horizons till i
inside a café olé
coffeecroissant as fast
as i can i'm late but
this is our breakfast, mama
tallat i croissant te'n recordes?
december cafè 365 Barcelona
legañas sin limpiar, curls sin peinar
you looking at me eyes pine needles
three thousand of them allí smelling
like Segovia, you told me que sí
Adam had become like family but
i don't want
any of my daughters
to end up like me with així
que do what you gotta do, Laieta
for you & nobody else
pero shit i'm very late
or maybe not so late & anyway
estic de camí no?
pues ya está smiling at
the sky, blau of my sisters' eyes
all these people moving next to me their
spiky tongues, nutella tongues, nocilla tongues leche
cacao, avellanas y azúcar!
each speaking el cel different & my ears buzzing
e poi finalmente Alison Richard building 7 West Road & i am
actually on time va va va, en la conferencia
más café más swallowing de
paracetamol hoping for la ausencia
of this sticky orange i just want
blau suau today i wanna concentrate
20 quid joder trying to listen
first speaker, Romanos, hablando
que si el PP que si el PSOE que si
la crisis crisis corrupción los indignados
each syllable crawling to
the 2017 regional election & i
think of you papa tu, al pati after voting
your eyes fixed on anything but me
next to the first pine tree scratching its bark
breaking your nails
like to show me how i scratched el teu cor how
i esgarrapar your heart in the polling place
laia who you voted for! laia what's your mama done!
what you said about her
in a blood voice
i will never forget but Romanos
has stopped talking & my
head, my head
earrings in my sockets
mis ojitos hanging sorely de mis ears au
orejitas wet with voices au, mami
la fiebre.
la fiebrecilla glowing.
ii. evening
leave the conference fiebre-glowing
cigarro hanging de mi labio oops
fuck puto tabaco de mierda que me mata, you beautiful people
so healthy
i wanna be
like you i
wanna let the sky in
my body
skydive
until i become cielo until
cielo is holier yo
quiero ser like you i'll
be like you i'm bright like you pero
with mountain stars alpine stars estrelles
del Cadí sí, soon
mañana
pero fumando y caminando now
pero el sol se fue y yo tranquila in a park now
en un parque, sitting on lluna grass y mis amores
appear with such a
riu-de-muntanya amor, riu
de la Cerdanya & here we are now
whisperreando boniques
we are tired of chasing
the sun in this country our ojos
brighter than the hottest
day in the UK we are
going aye que nos vamos far
más lejos, as lluny as...
pero i'm starving now i
let them disapperear y voy
pick up a co-op pizza
caminando solita
clutching a blue clipper in the pocket sí walking
with no sonríe, mi amor ay no
sweeter soundtrack que als carrers
de Barcelona, here nightcielo
canturreando my mind nightcielo
y nada else, ah but my body
guitarreando fever y ya
no sé lo que digo no i don't
know what i'm saying
to the hostel receptionist
telling me the oven is broken
la mierda la pizza que me duermo que me muero
in the 4-bed mujeres room ara like
una reina nadie else aquí
take off mi ropa imagine l'abuela gritando estás
más gorda, más gorda, más guapa! ay la alegría
of having a Segovian abuela who thinks
que la chicha es bonita but
under a duvet now por fin
el paracetamol-taking gracias a dios
gracias a dios, a dios, you, el peruano
send me a whatsapp & i
reply sí & bona nit & <3
but bonic, boniquíssim que tus labios on
mi corazón mi puto
corazón tongue
so so close teeth
afíladísimas
what you gonna do
y qué harás
y què faràs.
la fiebrecilla glowing.
_______________________________________
Laia Sales Merino is a poet from the Catalan Pyrenees. She is currently based in the UK. In her poetry, the English language coexists with Catalan, Spanish and any other language that has been on her mind (recently, Portuguese). Her work can be found in Eyot, amberflora and Ambit.