I cover my body in St Ives apricot scrub
not because I want to be blemish free
but so I am like a shell in the sand.
Rainbow shine in the sun.
I want to be walked over not because
I believe I am nothing but because
I want to exist and be anonymous.
To be different kinds of atoms.
I want the option of being treasured
or discarded. To drift with the tide.
To be still but change with time.
To keep the company of the sea.
I’ve spent the past few years sifting
through Dulux colour cards trying to match
the colour of her eyes. I think of what she
might be doing now. What her daughter
might have grown into. I have a playlist
I’d like to send to her. I’d like her to meet
the me of the present and forget the me
of when we met. I wonder if she thinks of me
too. I’d like her to meet my daughter. I’d like
to remember her name. I’d like her to remember
mine too. I’d like her to know that she taught me
desire quicker than the unexpected fall of rain.
Kayleigh Campbell is a second year Creative Writing PhD Researcher. Her pamphlet Keepsake was published by Maytree Press in 2019; she was also the winner of the Gloucestershire Poetry Society single poem competition the same year. Most recently, her work has appeared in Butcher’s Dog and Ink, Sweat & Tears.