In the Quaker hotel
single room on the top floor
narrow bed plain white bedspread
ventilator hum like a ship’s distant engines
floorboard creak
the brochure suggests a retreat for enquirers
could I learn to experiment with light?
can be challenging the writer warns
but may lead to new growth
below the window communal gardens
flagged square with two beehives
a kind of altar it comes to me
bees the tiny gods we depend on
each of us at our glowing window
a very practical discipline
walking in the woods with sarah
not a path
softness underfoot orange-brown compression layer
needles pinecones breaking down
becoming what
no roots no shadows
daub of bright neon green
at the base of each trunk
she said unmoored unlocated
not sure which way is up
she said cold hands knucklegrowths
soft tissue decay a thinning-out
I said certain unwantings
undefinings
a kind of walking out of oneself
wandering the woods’ soft body
small mound exposed roots
ribs of a boat
ribs of a former animal
at the edge of the trees sandy earth
asparagus fields
running for miles behind the dunes
not a loss
something like a clarifying
becoming something you can’t name
trace
then all at once running on the sand path
three dogs – one scruffy grey
two neater black and white –
and loping behind tall upright
self-contained in his dark clothes
the man of the dogs I know you
I said and thought at the same time
and an image rose from the other world
low ceiling painted walls thick mix
of talk and steam and food scents
this man at the centre of things capable
we stood apart on the sand path
yes he said we come here often
they can run for miles on these dry tracks
and there aren’t many people around
the dogs dashing back and forth
while he stood singular not liking
the loop of knowing I’d thrown around him
wanting to be gone I pictured him
down on the beach dark line
moving through an empty world
three dark dots at his heels trace on a screen
______________
Helen Tookey is a poet and writer based in Liverpool, where she teaches creative writing at
Liverpool John Moores University. She has published two poetry collections with Carcanet
Press, Missel-Child (2014) and City of Departures (2019), and is currently working on a third.
댓글