2 poems by Ava Loomar

Volcanic winter of 536. Dark for 18 months.

"For the sun gave forth its light without brightness, like the moon, during the whole year…”

Procopius, Byzantine historian, 6th century.

some days I remember your hands:

too delicate, like an artist’s sketch —

as in, real but contrived,

unfinished — fingers long,

reaching. it comes over me like a fog

shrouds the sun — as in, I can only believe

the light is still there because I have to.

there is no other choice — darkness

crumbles empires, kills gods (real but

contrived). and I dance and I starve

and I let my stomach eat itself, blinking

hard because I can’t face the day

with my eyes open. would forgetting

be a betrayal or a kindness? some days

those feel like the same thing. both

can be so cold. your birthday was

last week, and I almost missed it.

some days are just days until they aren’t

until they are again.

Florida

I am floating

And the sky is so blue it hurts

Still a child in these waters

Though they flow differently

From the ones in the womb that bore me

That strip of beach, that yawning bay

That pool where I first learned

Everything in life is sink or swim

But there’s something about the way

My eyelids turn coral in the sun

The way my hair slithers around my shoulders

Like water moccasins primed to bite

That wild lives in me, beautiful and deadly

Alligator scales and cypress knees

Ghost orchid, prowling panther

Sea grapes, swamp and sand

The clouds don’t make shapes anymore

Not like they used to

Only the ones I extract from them in hope and spite

My longstanding conflict with the traitorous wind

Just one more inevitable force:

The gravity of distance and time

The fading of memory, the peninsula

Sinking ever further into the waves

I’m missing things that haven't happened yet

Forgetting things I need to remember

I am floating

And the sky is so blue it hurts

__________

Ava Loomar is a poet and journalist based in Atlanta. You can read her work in Sky Island Journal, Alien Buddha Press, JAKE, Eunoia Review, swim press, IAMB Literary Magazine and Dusty Attic Publishing. Find her on Twitter @AvaSLoomar, Instagram @whosava, or contact her at avaloomar.wordpress.com.