I always wanted it darker – harder
the bushes and the pines weren’t enough
sexuality is and isn’t about genitalia, head
bursts with its hysterics every night,
and bisexuality, my sinister saviour, whispers
a hard cock could be a hard clit, and vice versa.
Sometimes one eats when one is famished, other times
to possess a sensation, to repress another urgency. You
bit into your carrot cake, catching my hungry eyes, then licked
the cream off your pink lips, your tactics cheap
like the cake you were devouring, but that didn’t stop me
for cheapness has seldom stopped me – I am a hard
snob only on the outside, my insides
are as soft as baby teeth; I am indeed
weak and my desire is as thin as your fingers so
when you put them inside me, I trembled.
We both felt like cheap cheats, but I’d say it was worth it
– my orgasm was delicious just like your cheap cake.
_____________
Golnoosh Nour is the author of The Ministry of Guidance and other stories – shortlisted for
the Polari Prize 2021. Her poetry collection ROCKSONG was recently published by Verve
Poetry Press. Her work has also appeared in Granta, Spontaneous Poetics, and Columbia
Journal amongst others. Golnoosh teaches literature and creative writing at the University of
Reading.
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